S.A.G.E. Extended Version
I am stuck on everything. Stuck on "Gideon and the Magic Railroad", stuck on "Mr. Dooley's Revenge", stuck on "LarryBoy vs. Professor Haman" and stuck on "Robin Good and the Raiders of Prince John". So, what do I do when I am stuck on something? I write something easy as I get over it. Transcript ''The Entire Program *("Larry's High Silk Hat" plays as the opening credits roll) *Simon Narrating: (Overlapping song) Ahoy there, Captain Simon here. In the not-too distant future, 3,000,000 kilowatts and lightyears from Strawberryland and in the cards, a tale is told of a time not too far past when in the house of Seville, there came into the world three pirates - Alvin, Theodore and me. But the occasion was not the joyous ode to Dave Seville had dreamed of for his horror - whether his three long-lost sons were turned to the future and used our money until a new job comes along or maybe, invest our new money and... something else. Ashamed, Dave locked us away from the eyes of the outside world and sent many people to keep us. They told their subjects to Dave that his three boys were such rare beauties, that we were stolen away. Years passed, and Mr. Seville died; taking his secret to the grave. He had the residence in the hands of an ambition regent and me, Theodore and Alvin in the grips of the people. And so things remained, until just before we were of age to ascend the thrones, we escaped and fled deep into the city of Nineveh. To seek the aid of our those onlookers, this is the ''real reason why we meet Strawberry's loot. *(Pan down to the Light Factory palace) *Simon Narrating: It all started when Nineveh stopped becoming the biggest, meanest city around. What a glorious feeling at the Light Factory palace. The people there are particularly nice to us. Due to a substandard performance four years ago, Jonah wanted God to destroy Nineveh, but he didn't. *Cockney Guard 1: It's those popstar blokes! *(Alvin, Simon and Theodore approach into the palace) *(Brittney, Jeanette and Eleanor approach as well) *(Cockney Guard 1 places a sign that says "No Chipettes Allowed") *Cockney Guard 1: We don't like strangers. *Cockney Guard 2: Anyone who is a big fan of the Chipettes may not enter. *Simon: Wow! *Alvin: Believe it or not, in this palace; we're famous! *Theodore: Here comes the city officials to greet us! *Simon: Hello there. *City Official: We got some suckers. Send them to the astonishing contraption of burning! *(Bags are pulled off their faces. Alvin is flipped upside down, Simon and Theodore are both tied) *City Official: Their punishment - the astonishing contraption of burning! *(People laugh) *(Alvin, Simon and Theodore break the ropes and they meet Buccaneers Lunt and Larry) *Alvin: Hey, Buccaneers Lunt and Larry. *Buccaneer Larry: How's it going? *Buccaneer Lunt: Hey, what's up? *Simon: What are you doing here? *Theodore: Remember that time when you were cheese curl celebrities of all Nineveh? *Alvin: Umm.... no. (whispers to another person) Hey, you gotta help me. I've been kidnapped by a cucumber and a decorative gourd. *Buccaneer Larry: Well, we've got the perfect manual for a machine. *(A few people, including Kyle, hop in) *Kyle: What's all the commotion? *Buccaneer Lunt: We've rented the DVD instruction manual from the library before. *Person 1: I have plenty of lumber on my boat. I should at least pinch in. *Person 2: I got some tools on my boat. I could work overtime. *Kyle: I based this off of a poster for Dagget and Ramsdell toiletries. *Person 3: I have an extra blueprint of the poster! *Person 4: Me too! *Sheep: (baas) *Buccaneer Larry: (Whispering to Alvin) He said "Me three". *Person 5: I saved up some allowance. *Person 6: Me too! *Person 7: Me three! *Person 8: I love to help! *(The people build the machine. Buccaneer Lunt holds blueprints of the machine) *Buccaneer Larry: Looks cool. *Kyle: The walls are up, *Person 1: The contraption is almost finished. *Person 2: And someone showed up with a lever to place onto. *Buccaneer Larry: Aww, thanks. *TV Reporter: How many lives have you lived? *Buccaneer Larry: Billions and billions! *TV Reporter: What does this machine do? *Buccaneer Larry: Simple. When there are prettier girls or fancier boys around, Lunt and I will make them! *(Strawberry watches from a safe distance. She shines her glasses, and texts a person. Her outfit and hat were now free of dust and dirt.) *Buccaneer Lunt: We're Vikings! *Buccaneer Larry: What do you know, the terrors of the sea. *Buccaneer Lunt: We're Vikings! *Jonah: (Grumpy) Wherever we go, pillaging happily. *Buccaneer Lunt: We're Vikings! *Kyle: Let there be no animosity 'cuz... *Buccaneer Lunt: Who wouldn't like a pile of cake rouge? *Person 1: Some shiny jewels and a finishing lotion! *Person 2: And a giant eyebrow pencil to boot! *Buccaneer Lunt: A Viking's life for me. Yo-ho! *Buccaneer Larry: That's the life for me. *("I Won't Go to Beans!" plays) *(They take the machine out of the palace.) *(Timecard "The next night...") *(Meanwhile...) *Simon Narrating: The next day, we arrived at Ninaborough. *Construction Worker: Looks like someone showed up with a couch. *Alvin: Really? (Lies down) Hey there. What are you wearing? In that case, can I get a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese? Thank you. *A random lady: C'mon, hurry up! *Alvin: Headmistress Minchin!?! *(Buccaneer Larry carries in Strawberry) *(A baseball flies past Alvin and out of the stadium.) *Simon: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your timeless angerness. *Police Chief: Who is that guy? *Sheriff: She was handing out berries yesterday. *Police Chief: That sounds fishy. Think ya took 'em. *Sheriff: I'm gonna throw up on some Skittles. *Police Chief: We gotta keep our eyes on her. *(A few people stay behind after some leave) *(Strawberry puts up some boards) *Strawberry: I never said that someone blew up and the city official was mad. *Police Chief: All cruise guests don't like to think of their friends are mad. *(Sheriff throws up on some Skittles) *(Strawberry shows a board showing Buccaneer Lunt's ageline) *Molly: "How old is Buccaneer Lunt?" *Strawberry: Why don't we come back to that? *Milli: Sounds pretty good. *Gil: "How smart does Captain Pa think he is?" *Police Chief: That's smart of him to think about how smart he is. *Geo: Who's Captain Pa? *Molly: Move along. *Gil: Nothing to see here. *Geo: "How much does Buccaneer Larry look?" *Gil: He looks so charming. *(Strawberry texts Buccaneer Larry) *Sheriff: I used to have a cellphone like that. It's the same one Strawberry used. My brother downloaded too many apps and sent too many mean text messages so I killed him and took that cellphone to the dump. *Milli: Really? *Villager 1: (tauntingly) Well, if it isn't the Rhubarbarian. *Villager 2: (tauntingly) Go back to your own kingdom, Rhubarbarian! *Molly: I'm gonna go kiss him someday! (Hops onto a table) That will be efficient. *Villager 1: We're eating here. *Molly: Somehow, Elliot looks very stylish as Strawberry's girlfriend. *Villager 2: I'm trying to walk here. *Molly: (Hops onto a condiment booth) I knew everything would go straight into a big world of dreams. *Villager 3: I was gonna get relish here. *Hipster Carrot: I dig efficiency. Watchin' my carbon hoofprint. (Drinks coffee) *(Hipster Carrot's body parts fall off and he dies) *(People lay on top of him) *Police Chief: If that is settled, (cut to him on an iceberg) I'd rather sit on an iceberg. *Milli: Aww... Buccaneer Lunt looks cute as a baby. *("You Girls are all brave thieves and bandits and naives and destroyers and robbers!" plays) *Townspeople: Kind Norrius, Kind Norrius, her exploits ever glorious! Oh, Norrius; Kind Norrius, returns again victorious! She bests the people with her might. Her strength cannot be matched. She brought victory upon this day and claimed the biggest laugh. KIND NORRIUS. *Townsperson 1: She's the big bad wolf afraid of. *Townspeople: Kind Norrius! She... lifts us all for the world to see. She dreams of clever pranks and pulls 'em brilliantly. *Townsperson 2: She passes by here on her way to school and church. *Townsperson 3: She is such a jewel around here. *Townsperson 4: Of course, I've seen her. *Captain Pa: I am the rightful captain of anything. *Alvin: Have no fear. *Simon: If there's a sign of them around... *Theodore: We'll bring 'em in. *Captain Pa: I'm goin' back to Bathroom Town tomorrow. *Buccaneer Larry: Okay, sir. Hire some robot-versions of the Chipettes. *Painter Carrot: That'll take all day! *Buccaneer Larry: Then go pack a lunch. I'm giving you this lunchbox. Here's your machinery. I'm giving you the can. *Simon Narrating: During a conference meeting, Elliot and Sedgewick were sitting with a few people. They gathered to discuss the events on the first day of the slavery business. This was one of the few times no kids were allowed. Alvin, the turnips, me, George, Theodore, Mrs. Butterbun, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Cashberger, Mrs. Bruckheimer, and Mrs. Fleagle were there. We were all seated around a long shiny oak table. Even Strawberry was there. *Head Conference Guy: What seems to be the problem? *Alvin: It all started when I was born. *Turnip 1: Do you think we should make posters and signs for the slavery announcement? *Strawberry: Note to self: Stay away from all future dreams. (Takes off her hat and places it in her lap) *Buccaneer Larry: Put your hat back on. *Strawberry: Okay, then. *Simon Narrating: Everyone started bringing up ideas on why they needed to begin the slavery. Suddenly, Sedgewick gave in. *Buccaneer Lunt: There is a business to attend to, mister. *Alvin: (While stapling papers) I know you'll do what's right. *Turnip 1: So, I never heard an answer for sure: Can we make signs and posters? *Simon Narrating: A chorus of agreement roared through the room. I did my very best to sink back into my chair. *Strawberry: It's not that, I just want to stop the slavery. *Mrs. Butterbun: Well, where did that come from? You practically defeated the evil with flashlights! *Mr. Netterbaum: And you loved getting what you want . *Mrs. Cashberger: And you loved building your life on a solid foundation. *Mrs. Bruckheimer: And you loved telling soldiers that they should just leave. *Mrs. Fleagle: Those have been my favorites so far that I got to see you do those kind of stuff. *Buccaneer Larry: Let me tie her up. *Simon Narrating: And just like that, a bandana was stuffed into Strawberry's mouth as Elliot and Sedgewick tied her up. *Strawberry: (muffle shouting) Mmph! But fellas, you can't do this to me! You better come to your senses. *Everyone in Meeting: Huh?! *Alvin: Maybe you should lift your mouth. *Strawberry: (breaks the ropes and takes bandana out of mouth) Elliot sort of... liked me. *Buccaneer Larry: Mother of mercy, why do I always have to be her boyfriend! *Buccaneer Lunt: 'Cuz you look the "romantic" type! *Alvin: Gentlemen, please. Strawberry Shortcake is a kind Viking. Give her a break, please. But Dave Seville died in a skiing accident. *Mrs. Butterbun: Oh my. I hope he's not talking about Sonny Bono. *Mr. Netterbaum: A rockstar pirate that doesn't do anything wouldn't do that. *Turnip 1: Come on! Hurry up with the slavery business, will ya?! *Head Conference Guy: I'm hurrying. *Alvin: Hold that thought. Which one of you turnips are gonna produce Mr. Marigold's slavery interview? *Mrs. Cashberger: What about special FX and stunts? *Alvin: Don't worry, we'll imagine the rest. *Mrs. Fleagle: But what if nobody knows Mr. Marigold's lines? *Alvin: If you don't know, just make some up so that people wouldn't remember. Kinda like Strawberry was... I think... a kooky creature. (Rimshot) *Simon Narrating: Strawberry was left speechless. *Buccaneer Larry: Oh, my bonnie lies over the ocean... *Strawberry: Well, Mrs. Butterbun, Mrs. Bruckheimer, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Cashberger, and I think, Mrs. Fleagle will be writing and directing the interview. But Mr. Hosenfeffer will not be on. *Buccaneer Lunt: We should be making $20 a day. *Alvin: Yeah, and speaking of Mr. Hosenfeffer, where is he? *Captain Pa: He died during a polka accident. *Alvin: They made him go on crazy carnival games and then right in the middle of a polka, he died. But, in the meantime, we'll do it. Can anybody give me the scrolls, two quills and plenty of ink. *Simon Narrating: A cheer rose through the whole meeting. Alvin sat on a sofa. *Alvin: Okay, bros. I'm ready. Open the line. (Holding a scroll and quill pen) Well hello, little boy. What do you like to do in your spare time. *(Montage occurs) *Simon Narrating: Huckleberry Pie, a friend of Gil's, rode on a buffalo, trying to find something to do. When he helped two people at a reception carry jugs of water to thirsty people at the reception, he accidentally slipped on a banana peel and spilled the water all over the floor. While a man hurried to get a wet mop, a townsperson asked him to work someplace else. Another man eventually put a wet floor sign on the floor. *Townsperson 5: Would ya like to work someplace else? *Simon Narrating: Then, Huck, helped two boys with a souvenir shack. However, it started out wonderfully, until he took a quick bathroom break in an outhouse while the two boys were eating lunch. A line of angry people showed up when Huck returned to his post. The first boy hastily took care of the angry customers by manning the cashier. The other boy asked Huck that they can handle the rest and to work someplace else. *Townsperson 6: Can we handle the rest and you please work someplace else? *Simon Narrating: Just then, Huck, helped three boys out some kids as their parents played casino games. Then two of the kids got into a fight over a game of poker. For some reason, it was worse. Huck tried to break up the fight and got hit with some of the chips. After the first boy seperated them, and the second boy resolved the argument, Huck laid on the ground, covered with chips. The third boy unburied him and threw him out of the casino. *Geo: I don't want you to be attacked by those chips. *Simon Narrating: Then Huck, who stood near the mayor's office, saw four men unloading boxes from a cargo ship. He decided to help them out. But then, he stacked a big pyramid of sheep instead. The sheep toppled over and buried him. *Gil: Man, he's havin' a bad day. *Huckleberry: I think I'm gonna head south of Ninaborough. Carry on. *Simon Narrating: Now, Huck sat on a bench, near the cruise ticket booth with an oversized hat on his head and holding a bright light. In those four attempts, they rewarded him with pink slips. *Huckleberry: I can't do anything like that right. I'm getting outta here. *(Huck and Zippy get on a cargo ship and sail away) *Lady: Ooh-la-la! I live here now. *Simon Narrating: They knew that girl lied. The Marigolds' name meant business. *(The pirates who don't do anything climb onto balcony) *Buccaneer Lunt: Ahoy! *Martin: Pirates? In my office? You're getting me fired. *("Dudes, He Ate My Cake" plays) *Buccaneer Larry: What was I saying? *Strawberry: Hey guys. What's up? *Buccaneer Lunt: I don't want to die becoming a slave. *Captain Pa: Me neither. *Buccaneer Larry: I don't want to become a slave, too. *Buccaneer Lunt: I eat silliness history for breakfast. *Simon Narrating: Now Strawberry stood near a bench. Mr. Lunt and Larry sat in their recliners. *Strawberry: Ready, fellas? *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Ready whenever you are, Strawberry, sir. *Strawberry: Eye patches? *Buccaneer Larry: Check. *Strawberry: Bandanas? *Buccaneer Lunt: Check. *Strawberry: Cutlasses? *Buccaneer Larry: Check. *Strawberry: Super pirate cries? (Buccaneers Larry and Lunt groan in disgust) C'mon, ya guys. You are pirates. *Simon Narrating: Larry and Mr. Lunt complained about what Strawberry said. *Buccaneer Lunt: But we're tired of becoming lazy pirates over those years! *Buccaneer Larry: Yeah, shouldn't we be someone else? *Buccaneer Lunt: What about yodelers? (Eerie yodeling music plays) *(Buccaneer Larry yodels too loud. People cover their ears. A person climbs up a mountain. When the person climbs up to the top of the mountain, an avalanche starts.) *Simon Narrating: The yodeling was heard everywhere - even all the way up to the top of Mt. Everest - the highest best-known mountain in the world. *Strawberry: You two take this too seriously. *Buccaneer Larry: What about major rockstars? *Buccaneer Lunt: Or shepherds? (Shepherd music faintly plays) *Strawberry: No, no, no. You are not shepherds. You are pirates. Have ya forgotten a pirate pledge? *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: No... *Strawberry: Well, let's hear it. *(Liberty music plays) *Buccaneer Larry: I pledge democracy, to the flag of the Jolly Roger, and to the fighting for which it stands, one nation; under tomato juice (Pirate Impostor 1 faints), invisible, with pillaging and plundering for all. *Buccaneer Lunt: Well, I'm convinced, Larry, that's pretty much the stupidest thing I've ever heard. *Strawberry: Larry, Mr. Lunt. That's not how that pirate pledge I told you to not forget. *Buccaneer Larry: But working on summer vacation, it's criminal! *Strawberry: I know that. You two are lazy. Think up another pledge. *Buccaneer Lunt: It's work! *Simon Narrating: Then a few people, Elliot and Sedgewick saw me, Theodore and Alvin lounging on our recliners while listening to the Chipmunk Christmas song on an cheap AM radio. *Alvin: I know that those three pirates have hosted a silly song countdown. *Simon: And I know they've had their own song. *Theodore: They also pirated a countertop and starred in two feature films. *Strawberry: Why would they do some wacky thing like let a giant squash sit on chocolates and hats? *Alvin: I never liked that humongous hat. *Simon: It scared me when I was little. *Theodore: They threw burlap bags over us. That hat also creeped me out. *Buccaneer Larry: They need to fire Dave Seville and hire Chog Norrius. You know how much Dave Seville's songs cost. *Strawberry: More than I love in a year. *Buccaneer Larry: This is why I'm recommending to Mrs. Bruckheimer and Mayor Jimmy to give you at least fifteen bags of kindness and strength for no money. When Mrs. Bruckheimer was your age, she went gambling with the mayor, the warden, the asylum owner, the Netterbaums, the Butterbuns, the Cashbergers, the Fleagles, the turnips, the Chipettes, Pa, Mr. Lunt and I every weekend. We even gambled on weekdays and Sundays. *Buccaneer Lunt: Me too. It had all started before a famine came across Strawberryland. Did I ever mention that Huckleberry Pie, got married to Strawberry Shortcake, your girlfriend, Elliot? *Buccaneer Larry: That's true. *Buccaneer Lunt: The Netterbaums, the Butterbuns, the turnips, (Turnip 1: I'm gonna murder you!) the Cashbergers, the Fleagles, the Bruckheimers, the warden, the mayor, the asylum owner, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Huck, Elliot, I, Brittney, Strawberry, Orange, Ginger, Angel, Jeanette and Eleanor all went to live in Joppa. But before we left for Strawberryland, I asked the cruise ticket guy to give them half of the money. *(Flashback starts) *Buccaneer Lunt: How come no one never trusted me? *Cruise Ticket Guy: Alright. I don't trust you. *(Flashback ends) *Buccaneer Lunt: Then things got very bad. The famine had begun by the Purple Pie Man and his evil sister. Right after the famine, the turnips (Turnip 1: Grrrr!), the warden, the aslyum owner, the mayor, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittney, Jeanette, Eleanor, Elliot, I, Orange, Ginger, Huck, and Angel's families all welcomed us, but not Dave Seville. To them, he was the enemy. *Strawberry: Nice. Now can I go home and take a shower, eat a lighter meal and then head to bed? *Buccaneer Lunt: No way. You can't do that. You've gotta let those people go. *Buccaneer Larry: Trust me. The news cable reporter says that this is happening. *TV Reporter: This just in: A zucchini who went by the name of Martin Marigold has broke out of jail and is planning to make the people all slaves. What can that do? When will this crime wave end? Can anyone defeat the evil? *Strawberry: I can give it a shot. *TV Reporter: Good choice, then. *Ginger Snap: We're like cool adventurers, like the kind that sail the seas. *Angel Cake: And the kind that defeat giants. *Orange Blossom: And the kind that search for ancient relics. *Martin Marigold: Excuse me, I have an announcement. People of Ninaborough, become very afraid. Unless you be my slaves, I will terrorize Ninaborough. As my slaves, do certain things for me. Get rid of all real, rubber, mechanical, and/or plush flowers, sheep, cattle and chickens. Any pictures of them, too. Throw away all your baseball outfits and play baseball in your regular clothes. Stack pyramids of sheep all day. Every morning, sing the "I Want to Die Becoming a Slave" blues. Flush your office supplies down the toilet. Throw your shoes out the window. Put your homework on fire. Give your food to the cats. Tell the dogs that they're bad. Throw eggs at an old man's house. Tear down all the monuments of Strawberry and build statues of me. Work on cliffs. Cut the tops of flowers and throw them in the garbage. Pick up all the cheese on the pizza and burgers and throw it away. Put lemons on an old person's eyeballs. Sweep the dirt off all the stairs. Skateboard down the aisles of a supermarket. Write a book about racoons. Make a boat out of a race car and it will sink and everyone on board will die. Every night, stand by the cruise ticket booth wearing oversized ten-gallon hats over your eyes while holding bright lights. Anyone who disobeys these rules will receive a visit from Mayor Jimmy and me and then be cast into the belly of a whale! Now, be scared! Hahahahahahahaha! *Strawberry: (hops up to the mayor's office) What's his deal? *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Listen. *(Mayor Jimmy stares at a baby in a gold basket) *Mayor Jimmy: Great granddad loves his little cuchi-cuchi-coo... *Baby: (cooing) *Mayor Jimmy: Yes, your mama's gonna be back soon you cutie, cutesy-coo... (gasps with a smile) Who's your favorite great granddad? Who's gonna be the mayor someday? (Did the baby talk while holding and rattling a multi-colored baby rattle) *Captain Pa: (passes by the mayor's office) Oh, boy. Here we go again. *Baby: (throws up at Captain Pa) *Buccaneer Larry, Buccaneer Lunt and Strawberry: (open their umbrellas) *Radio Guy: Welcome back to WMID, music for the attacking hordes. *Person: Yes, hello. I'd like to request Sampson's "Bringing Down the House". *Buccaneer Larry: Do you recognize this place? (Strawberry, Larry and Mr. Lunt approach the doorstep) *Strawberry: Of course I do. This is the office the mayor's daughter adopted me. (Swings open the door) I remember that day, I was so poor, I couldn't afford to see what was coming into me. *Buccaneer Lunt: Elliot, that's true. That was swell coming in. *Buccaneer Larry: Look! *Mayor Jimmy: Well, if Dave Seville knew how his life felt, he wouldn't care about his three boys. *Strawberry: He wouldn't? *Mayor's Daughter: He sure loved that place. He paid for all those statues they built of that Rhubarbarian. *Mayor Jimmy: He commissioned this place before his death. *Townsperson 1: He sure woulda want everyone to see it. I shoulda talked with him more. *Mayor's Daughter: I'd like to take *that lumpy pickle and teach him a thing or two. *Townsperson 1: I'd weave his basket of peonies into a kettle of beans on toast! *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: I'm sorry, we gotta have... *Mayor Jimmy: Yes? *(Stawberry whispers to Buccaneer Larry) *(Buccaneer Larry whispers to Buccaneer Lunt) *Mayor Jimmy: Wait a minute, you're two of those lazy pirates! *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Yes, indeed. *Mayor Jimmy: Isn't that boring? *Buccaneer Larry: Beats our laziness. *Buccaneer Lunt: Indeed, Jimmy. *Mayor Jimmy: Who is that kind woman my daughter adopted? Did she come with you two or did she come alone? *Buccaneer Larry: She is, Streben... Strebeanie? *Buccaneer Lunt: Strawberry Shortcake. *Buccaneer Larry: Strawberry Shortcake. *Mayor Jimmy: Ya know how to talk, young lass? *Buccaneer Larry: She's a bit... sly. *Buccaneer Lunt: She prefers to let us speak for him. *Mayor Jimmy: Well?! *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: Well, what? *Mayor Jimmy: You forgot to buy a new backbone with your new pair of glasses, miss? *Professor Hamlin: Yeah, well; we'll just see what the mayor has to say about you, Molly. *Mayor Jimmy: Yes? *Professor Hamlin: A friend of hers does lots of failed attempts. *Molly: I know it was true. *Professor Hamlin: He slipped on a banana peel while carrying water. He went to the bathroom while running a shack. He tried to break up a fight over a game of video poker. He stacked sheep instead of boxes. *Molly: That's silly of him! *Professor Hamlin: Mayor Jimmy, you run this place like a sleepy old bear. *Buccaneer Larry: Sedgewick, you must talk to her. Strawberry must talk some sense into this caper. *Strawberry: I don't know, Elliot. I think it's a little too obvious. *Buccaneer Lunt: Well, we're nervous too. If you don't tell the truth, the people will send you to battle. *Simon Narrating: Strawberry was left with a decision if she told the truth to the queen or let the people kill her. Her mind stirred with thoughts and predictions. Finally, she made the choice to tell the truth to the queen. *Strawberry: I'm gonna show the queen and Mr. Marigold who's boss. *Buccaneers Larry and Lunt: That's the spirit. *Strawberry: See you then. *Buccaneer Lunt: I knew you'd catch on. *Buccaneer Larry: We need to do all those things he told us in order to make Mr. Seville rise from his grave. *Buccaneer Lunt: We've had our own song, and hosted a silly song countdown, and pirated a countertop and starred in two films. *Alvin, Simon and Theodore: (O.S.) That's what we said! *Buccaneer Larry: We do all that kinda crazy stuff for nearly 100 years, and then we die. *Buccaneer Lunt: Elliot, do we have time to grab a sandwich or a soda for that quest? *Buccaneer Larry: Hmm, maybe. I could really go for a bratwurst. *Man on Voice: Mr. Norrius, the camera is on. Both Strawberry and that elder grape captain are in the lobby. *Simon Narrating: The guy said it all. Strawberry hopped into an elevator and it zipped her up to the control room. But there were lots of people going in too, even George. (Cut to Strawberry, George and the people crammed into the elevator) The elevator grew hotter. For some reason, Strawberry grabbed a crowbar and pried the doors open a bit. But George pulled her back in. She slumped against a wall, gasping for breath. *Chog (with headphones on): Alrighty. Let's get on with recording Strawberry singing "A Gift of Love for Christmas". Ready, fellas? *Warden, Asylum Owner and A Random Zucchini (in a recording booth): Okay, sir. *Chog: And a one, and a two, and a one-two-three-four... *(Strawberry sings "Love for Christmas" in falsetto) *Chog: Welcome to Spring Valley Records. *Strawberry: It's nice to meet you, Chog. *Chog: Neat performance there. *(Captain Pa hops out of the elevator) *Captain Pa: What are you gonna record next? "Oh No We Do Today". *Chog: That would be the one. *Strawberry: Oh my. I hope he's not talking about Mr. Marigold. I'm gonna teach him a lesson he'll never forget. *Chog: That would leave your life go up in smoke. *Recording Guy: Well, he didn't tell her what to do. *Captain Pa: Hurry up! You're running outta studio time. *Chog: Okay then. *Warden and Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. The ladies hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Random Zucchini: If hung from a sediment, if it threw the sea. If we do salad, perhaps we fall well, if you invite to play the hidden. *Warden and Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. The ladies hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Captain Pa: And we left homeless in the woods without food, if it got on a boat and send them to swim without a life; he can drown unclaimed invite. *(Cut to Mr. Marigold and a few fruits and vegetables standing on a boat falling into a whirlpool, all screaming and yelling.) *Martin Marigold, and Miscellaneous Fruits and Vegetables on Boat: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up and then I'm gonna die! Mommy, tell it to stop! (Continues screaming and yelling) Take those produce off the U.S.S. Italian Scallion! *Warden and Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. The ladies hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Captain Pa: If you eat a lot of cookies, when you fall asleep once we sell. If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Warden: Oh no, we do today. *Asylum Owner: Oh no, we do today. *Random Zucchini: Oh no, we do today. *Captain Pa: Oh no, we do today. If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough! *Recording Guy: Dude, that was not cool. *Strawberry: This is turning out that I just followed Sedgewick and Elliot's advice. *Chog: What!? *Captain Pa, Warden, Asylum Owner and Random Zucchini: Oh no, we do today. *Chog: I'm disagreeing... *Captain Pa, Warden, Asylum Owner and Random Zucchini: The ladies hate Mr. Marigold more than you and I will do today. *Chog: With what you're seeing. *Captain Pa, Warden, Asylum Owner and Random Zucchini: Oh no, we have to get him out of here. *Chog: I feel like screaming. *Recording Guy: Please calm down. *Captain Pa: If we use it as a table or pool table moored, we sent out and away from Ninaborough. *Chog: Now I'm putting this on your permanent record. *Strawberry: Oh, I had to do something like that. *Captain Pa: No one has been worse about it than Mr. Marigold. *Warden: You're right. *Asylum Owner: He wouldn't know that his life never sold. *Strawberry: What if he never came out of it? (Hops into elevator) They're about to sell his palace when we nab him. *Random Zucchini: I agree. We should do something unbeatable to stop this case. *Warden: Mr. Marigold's too proud for that. *Asylum Owner: He wasn't too proud of this caper. *(Cut to Elliot and Sedgewick in the lobby) *(Strawberry hops out of elevator and sits at a table) *Buccaneer Larry: (relieved) Whew... that went well. *Buccaneer Lunt: Well, what should we do to stop this case? *Buccaneer Larry: To the archives. *Simon Narrating: So they went up to the information center. *Buccaneer Larry: We were gonna tell if that evil zucchini was mean. *Buccaneer Lunt: Why, hardly anyone agrees with Mr. Marigold. *Alvin: You - never seen you. You - write a ridiculous song to Mr. Marigold. *Buccaneer Lunt: Ahh, no. *Alvin: Write a ridiculous song to Mr. Marigold. *Buccaneer Lunt: (overlapping) No. *Alvin: Good. *Buccaneer Larry: I sent a rather silly message to Mr. Marigold on Strawberry's cellphone the other day. *Alvin: (holds his breath) Sorry, I'm late. *Simon: I'm going joggling. *Theodore: Me too. *Alvin: Hey, who's this ''guy? *(Later that evening...) *Simon Narrating: Now, don't get me wrong. Showing up uninvited before the mayor was a very brave thing to do. But telling the guards that Mr. Marigold is a werewolf is especially difficult. *(Strawberry locks her door) *Townsperson 1: Evening. Strawberry, could I afford you into some cute little robo-cowboy cops? *Strawberry: Wait a sec... is that a robot and a cowboy? *Townsperson 1: And a cop. It's from the new movie. I could also afford you into his robo-horse-mobile. *Townsperson 2: What about this here bag of money? *Townsperson 3: What's the word? *Simon Narrating: Things got tense. The stand-off distance stretched on as Strawberry sat with Larry and Mr. Lunt. Several people pulled up couches to watch. Firefighters came. Television crews arrived. *Buccaneer Larry: If you don't stop the slavery, your life may cut off. *Buccaneer Lunt: Those people will lose their jobs. *Simon Narrating: You got that right. You will notice what the people are doing to that old building, too. They went bankrupt, they sold it, they shut it down and they destroyed it in a huge fire. *TV Reporter: Attention, attention. This just in: Martin has hired pirates. This is the TV reporter, signing off. See you then tomorrow. Aloha! *Sarah: Well, what did Strawberry do because of this? *Simon Narrating: Well, never before; she gotten a message that she really wanted to deliver. She didn't know what to do. And just like that, someone lit a candle and placed it on the rooftop of the factory causing it to burn down and the workers inside all packed their bags, cleaned out their offices and left, frustrated and disappointed. Get lost, workers. You're fired. Go on. Scram. Get outta here. *Worker 1: You were gonna sell. *Worker 2: After all of our hard work. On the late nights! *Simon: Yup. G'bye. Adios. Hasta la vista. Ciao. Sayonora. Buncha nachos. *Worker 3: Seller. *Worker 4: Thanks for the lies, Mr. Fairytale. *Worker 5: Let's go waste our time somewhere else. *Simon: If Strawberry had the courage, they'll never know. *Strawberry: I guess that coulda been worse. That factory is destroyed. I need to find out more. *(She scurries up the balcony of Mr. Marigold's palace) *Simon Narrating: Strawberry looked through some coin-operated binoculars and saw all her friends. They were all clowning around. The pumpkin-headed children, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, even the Chipettes. *Strawberry: Gotcha! Time to do my duties. *(Strawberry runs into a cruise sign which read "See the World - Friends and Family Cruise") *Ticket Man: Ticket please, ma'am. There's nothing like a cruise to clean the sand outta wicket, eh? *Strawberry: I'm goin' to Tarship. *Ticket Man: Ha-ha! It's the other end of the world. *Strawberry: Awesome. *Ticket Man: If ya had all the money, no one around here will sail all the way to Tarship. Not even those girls over there. *(Mysterious music plays as a silhouette of an elegant pirate ship sails into view) *Simon Narrating: What a difference it took. Mr. Marigold saw Strawberry as we were leaving the harbor. *Martin Marigold: That young girl is in big trouble. If I see your face again, I'll turn you all slaves. *(Transition to people jumping on board with Alvin, Simon and Theodore as the boat leaves) *Simon Narrating: So he commanded many people to row ashore. Even though they never sailed before, they took it like a fish to water. *Strawberry: It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on! *Ginger Snap: Money is no object. *Person 1: The Pirates gotta get some money. *League: (except Strawberry) What do they need money for? *Person 2: Operations. *Simon: Cool. *Mr. Malab: League, ya better waltz to my quarters and discuss this over cakes, fruits, cookies, cheesecurls, pizza, and rootbeer. And take those people with you. *Ginger Snap: But, captain... *Mr. Malab: No buts about it. *Simon: Tell them the truth. *Ginger Snap: Speak to the fire god. *Alvin: Wait, if those grapes in the hold were evil, wouldn't they already know? So that meant... they're the Peaoni Brothers - the most wanted peas in Persia. *Simon Narrating: So I went to talk with the fire god in the captain's quarters. I should convince him to bring the light of our world back at the time. Once we were finally out to sea, Strawberry went below deck to rest a bit. *Buccaneer Lunt: I have a weird feeling that she isn't done wrecking our boat in a huge rainstorm. I'm figuratively speaking, of course. *Buccaneer Larry: Me too. *Painter Carrot: What? *Woman on Voice: The police man is behind the billboard. *Painter Carrot: Oh, that loser again? *(Policeman holds a box. He opens it and three pirates stand in.) *Pirate Impostor 1: This doesn't look good. *Pirate Impostor 2: I think I'm gonna be sick! *Pirate Impostor 3: My heart will explode! *Police Chief: Come on, you guys. (Sings first lines of Pirates who don't do anything song) *Painter Carrot: It's kinda weird though that a man would say he wants to stay home and lie around. I have dinner to go to. *Simon Narrating: But just as that painter came over to someone's house for dinner, it was too late. Buccaneer Larry caught the painter carrot and the impostors. *Buccaneer Larry: You're coming with me. *Police Chief: (spits out coffee) What'cha doing!?! You're ruining the billboard, Miss Shortcake!!!! No!!!!! Oh, Lord; why did you let this happen!?! Get your filthy hands off of that carrot, that tomato, that gourd and that asparagus, Miss Shortcake!!!! *Simon Narrating: Buccaneer Larry threw them into the slammer. *Pirate Impostor 1: Like Pa, Larry and Mr. Lunt, we're not cool pirates. *Pirate Impostor 2: Like the kind that rob and pillage. *Pirate Impostor 3: And swordfight people, swab the poopdeck, and search for buried treasure. *Simon Narrating: I wonder what (Cut to ship hold) Strawberry is up to... *(Strawberry throws down a bag and sits down on a bench) *Simon Narrating: That was a very silly surprise. The bag just talked. She threw the bag onto a barrel, and out came... peas!?! *Guy with Black Hat: Allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Jude, the smartest one. *Karen: I am Karen, the awesomst one. *Reuben: And I am Reuben, the chubbiest. *Strawberry: Nice to meet ya. Now, where is this ship going? *Jude: Tarship. *Karen: One time, our uncles were tortured by the city official. *Reuben: That's surprising. *Karen: i know that. *(Strawberry groans) *Karen: What's wrong there? *Jude: There is a man in that palace. A beautiful young leek? He is waiting there for you. *Karen: Would that be either Alvin, Simon or Theodore? *Reuben: No, it had something to do with his body shaped like a dog. *Jude: You were promised to be married, but your life is now in the way. *Karen: The man's mother is the head of an international league of bandits. *Jude: So, this day, you sail there and break the back of them which will break the heart of that guy. *Reuben: Let's go help the League find someplace on this boat to sleep for the night. *Strawberry: And can you get me a glass of strawberry juice while you're at it? *(White limbo. Strawberry walks across. Everything is mysterious.) *Strawberry: Yes. Which way is Tarship? *Ticket Man: (Croaking) Right this way. You can't miss it. *Strawberry: Thanks. (Hops off) *Random Angel: (O.S.) Strawberry? *Strawberry: Hmm? Who is it? *Random Angel: (O.S.) I'm very disappointed in you. *Strawberry: Oh, hey. I'm gonna... *Random Angel: (O.S.) Very disappointed! *Strawberry: I can't hear you. *Random Angel: (O.S.) You've lost the spirit of Christmas! *Strawberry: But Lord, you don't understand. (Notices she is in standing water) Oh boy. I'm drowning! *Random Angel: (O.S.) STRAWBERRY!!!!! *(Dream ends) *Ginger Snap: Strawberry? Strawberry? *Strawberry: I'm drowning! *Ginger Snap: C'mon wake up! We're in a storm like I've never seen before. If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink! *Mr. Malab: (scoffs) Didn't I at least tell you to get off my ship, you lousy leaf-eaters! *Karen: Yes, but you see; we're gonna break the back of those bandits. I love crimefighting. *Mr. Malab: If it ain't for this, I'll make you walk the plank! We're gonna be fish food if I don't get help. *Jude: How do you feel about an indoor pool? *Ginger Snap: *Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here. *(The ship rocks violently) *Angel Cake: Oh, dear. *Orange Blossom: This doesn't look good. *Blueberry Muffin: I'm gonna throw up! *Alvin: I don't like the sound of that. I wouldn't do this to my cap. *Simon: What? Throwing shoes out the window? We don't have feet! *Theodore: How are you supposed to eat cheese-less pizza? *Mr. Malab: Someone up there is real upset with someone down here. It ain't gonna let up 'till we know who that someone is. It could be any one of us. Cast lots! If it falls on you, you take a swim! *(Lightning flashes. Everyone startles. We montage through the intense element of casting lots as the storm continues to rage. We dissolve between different lots depicting to fall on someone. We see character's faces as the casting progresses - if they're holding some lots, they're nervous, if not, they're relaxed. The casting shifts and Judah is on the loosing end. We cut to a wide shot of the pirate ship and see it being tossed around by the waves. We hear reverby "cast lots" and various "aarghs" and "oh boys" throughout.) *Simon Narrating: So we casted lots and it fell on the captain. *Mr. Malab: So she got on here. I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea. *Strawberry: Goodnight, sir. Nice knowing ya. *Alvin: You've been mostly entitled for a refund. *Karen: Underneath the circumstances, you know, with you dying and all. *Ginger Snap: Not so fast. I suggest we use a Jupiter 1600 horsepower, high octave, dual-propeller pull-ignition boat motor with the optional chrome trim package. It can get you back to where you were. *Karen: I'll explain how this works. It appears that one just pushes the black bubbly thing and pulls the cord. *Alvin: That would be dangerous. (Everyone turns toward him angrily) Simon, Theodore and I will be watching from a safe distance. *(Just then, the propellers catch the surface of the deck of the ship. Wood chips fly as the spinning blades propel the engine all the way across the decks - ripping a trail in the planks. Cut to shots of the propeller chasing characters through screen. They gulp as the motor follows. It then crashes through the ground rail on the bow of the ship and drops in the sea.) *Simon: That's the final time we're ever gonna get a boat motor. *Simon Narrating: The storm grew higher. We cried out to God as Mr. Malab was pushed into the ocean and the seas were calm again. (A group faint) We tried to pull him back on board. A shark then swallowed him whole. (The group cry) Even the best bloodhound in the world hits a dead end sooner or later. The terrifying ablaze of Strawberry was facing the chicken of the sea. Meanwhile, with Strawberry gone, things back in Ninaborough were falling apart like a wet taco. *Gil: Hang on. You want to ride on a seahorse. *Kid 1: On Randalf! *Gil: You want to ride on Randalf the red-nosed seahorse. How do you spell "Randalf"? *Molly: I don't know. *Kid 1: Seriously?! *Gil: A silver rabbit? *Kid 1: Silver robot! *Gil: I can't even read my own writing. *Geo: You want to jingle-jangle some bells. *Kid 2: Some Rhode bells and I think, silver bells. *Milli: A gold zucchini? *Kid 2: A gold zebra! *Simon Narrating: Meanwhile, back in the Spring Valley Recording Studio, Larry and Mr. Lunt stumbled upon a peculiar item of interest. *Person on Computer: Plug in a laser machine and watch the lasers go! *Buccaneer Larry: Mr. Lunt, if this doesn't go over the top, nothing will! *Chog: Ready, fellas? *Pirates: OK, sir. *Chog: One, two, three, one, two, three... *Pirates: We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay home... *Chog: Hold it, Buccaneer Larry. You're a little flat. Let's try again. *Pirates: ...And lie around. And if you ask us to do anything... *Chog: Hold it, Buccaneer Larry. *Buccaneer Larry: (sadly) We'll just tell you... (Smiles a bit unconsciously) *("What's Up with Strawberry?" plays) *Simon Narrating: Yes, no one could figure out what they were up to. Along with a few people, Mr. Lunt and Larry followed Strawberry all the way to the light factory palace. *Buccaneer Larry: Sedgewick and I are gonna stop this foolish case. (Adds a picture of Strawberry married to Huck to his photo wallet) *Gil: (Squints at scroll) I'm confused with the list. What is a Back-Babylonian Pickle? *Kid 1: ''Bad-Balonga pencil. *Mayor Jimmy: We need to keep an eye on them, Mr. Marigold, and of course, my great grandson. (falls asleep on his desk) *Brittney: (sends the mayor's great grandson to battle) *Buccaneer Larry: He's right. *Captain Pa: Sail to the Light Factory palace and call the calvary. *Buccaneer Lunt: Aye, aye... Captain Crunch! *(Captain Pa growls) *(Buccaneer Larry snickers as he and Lunt head to the cruise ticket booth) *Captain Pa: Call me that one more time, and I will make you work for your great Martin Marigold!!!!! *Kid 2: What? They're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! *Buccaneer Larry: 'Cuz since we've done all the things the Marigolds suggested, I think now would at least be a good time to get the money for those operations. *Kid 3: Why should we help three pirates get operations? We've got better work to do around here! *Molly: I know what you mean. *Captain Pa: (chases patrons from a dollar store. He replaces a few letters and turns it into "Polar Store") *Patrons: (race back in) *Turnip 1: (scares patrons from a mall away and destroys it with a gun) *Turnip 2: (throws a cart into a window) *Turnip 3: (rips stamps off, then laughs evilly) *Buccaneer Lunt: (through a megaphone) Enough pillaging and plundering. *Buccaneer Larry: (through a megaphone) Attention, ladies and gentlemen; I have an announcement. Sedgewick and I are rounding up a search party. We're keeping these lists of clues. (Mysterious oohs and ahhs are heard) Who's with me? *Geo: I'm in. *Molly: Me too. *(Chorus of agreement) *(Dissolve to black) *Simon Narrating: I knew it was tricky to see that the people destroyed almost half of the entire village. *(Fade from black to reveal the belly of the shark) *Simon Narrating: The captain pouted. Then angels came and comforted him. They sang "God of Second Chances". *("Girlz in the Sink's debut song" plays) *(Timecard "The next, NEXT night.") *(Mysterious score plays as Karen, Reuben and Jude were complaining around a fire.) *Karen: I can't believe why Hamlin's car-wagon thing was installed to a spark plug yesterday. *Jude: Mais oui! *Reuben: That was humiliating! *Karen: What are you talking about?! *Jude: What do spark plugs and gangsters gotta do with...hey, you don't mess with another man's spark plug! *Reuben: Then go lick one, then! *Karen: Go back to where you came from, pirates. Alright, if you don't want to get rammed into the S.S. Italian Scallion, then you'll listen what I need to say. Reuben, better climb up to the crow's nest, get a megaphone and get the captain's attention. Alvin, reel in your message. Judah, you help me steer. *Townsperson 1: Hey, Blackberry the Pirate Ship Wrecker, you dead yet? Or are you gonna wait until you free those people? (Goat maa's) *Simon Narrating: But I, Buccaneer Alvin, and Buccaneer Theodore had something else in mind. We were fighting to keep the ship steady. Judah took Mr. Malab's seat as Karen sat beside him. Reuben climbed up the crow's nest, and grabbed a megaphone to get the captain's attention. *Karen: Judah, let me know if you see anything in our way. *Jude: Got it. Rocks. (Swerves to the left) *Reuben: This is an important resolution: No one has heard of Mr. Marigold in days. No more of those mamsy-pamsy pleasantries. *Alvin: When Mr. Marigold arrives at that palace, (Pulls out some ropes and a net) we'll nab him for good, pure and simple, got it? *Strawberry: (with a scuba mask, and an envelope) Right. Got it. *Alvin: Do you have it? *Strawberry: Yeah, I got it. *Alvin: Look, now remember. You give some barnacle-scrapers on the USS Italian Scallion the invitation before they drown. It's the same one Elliot tried to give the mayor to. Once they drown, you're able to dive down there and pull them back onboard that ship. *Strawberry: Got it. *Three people: (scraping barnacles off of boat) *Boat Captain: Hey, be sure to scrape the barnacles from underneath, too. *Alvin: Okay, go. *Strawberry: (whisper shouting) Man the cannon. *Karen: Aye, aye captain. *Strawberry: (Whisper shouting) Fire one. Aim this time, Karen. *(KABOOM!) *(The barnacle scrapers drown) *Strawberry: (dives down and fishes barnacle-scrapers out of the ocean and back onto boat) Keep up the good work, Buccaneer Alvie. *Alvin: Oh, the U.S.S. Italian Scallion, may her deacon become married to me. *Boat Captain: (standing on a raft) Buccaneer Alvin, there's a bill saying that you need to pay for the damaged motor you bought. *Simon Narrating: So Buccaneer Alvin nervously took the paper. He, Buccaneer Theodore and I stared in amazement at the price which was written on there. *Theodore: Eight trillion, twelve billion, twenty-nine million, forty-eight thousand, and fifty-six hundred cents. That's more than what we paid them to install the motor on the ship. *Boat Captain: For pirates that don't do anything, they sure do get into a lot of crazy situations. *(Timecard "The next, next, NEXT night...") *Simon Narrating: Then we all knew something strange happening. The captain died inside the shark. Strawberry Shortcake, and her not-so merry friends are running off with every able-bodied person and equipment on the boat like they were some crazed kindly Viking burgular girls with strawberry juice all over their faces. *Alvin: Did you just say "strawberry juice all over their faces"? That makes a good disguise. (Flashback to him approaching a gas station in Ninaborough in an SUV. He wore the same costume Larry had on as Elf Lawrence in "Merry Larry and the True Light of Christmas". He puts a cordless gas pump into the gas tank. He runs and grabs a soda and once he paid for the soda, he puts on some strawberry juice on his face and his lips.) It's working. It's twisting my appearance. *Salesman: Aaahh! What a hideous monster. (Opens register and takes out all the money) Please take this money and never come back so I don't have to look at your disgusting features. *Alvin: (His face resembles Larry's and he laughs evilly. The flashback ends.) Yeah! Works great until, you know, they caught me. *Strawberry: (Pulls out book "The Trueness of a Good Leader") "Now, captain, it's perfectly normal that you might stand in breezing occurence. I'm tryna make ya comfortable. I will allow you in the signs of my splendor - such as, answers to unusual questions, major miracles appearing or disappearing against your will." *Alvin: Nice. "The Trueness of a Good Leader." Let me check your records once you give me that. *Simon Narrating: Strawberry dramatically tells everyone about the truth of the Marigolds. We arrived at the palace. *Cockney Guard 1: Who goes there? *Simon: I am Simon. *Cockney Guard 2: You're not from here! *Alvin: We're from... *Cockney Guards: You're strangers! *(They arrive in the palace) *Alvin: Welcome back. *City Official: Arrest them...again! *Alvin: Oh no. Not again. *City Official: Oh... is it? *(City Official pulls out knife and slits the bottom of Alvin's pack) *Alvin: I thought they were free samples! *(WHACK!) *(Bags were pulled off their faces. Angel Cake is flipped upside down, Ginger and Orange were both tied to the back of a sheep, and Strawberry had the ropes cut) *(The league gasps, except Strawberry) *Angel Cake: I didn't know to say this, but this is crazy. *Simon: I'll say. *City Official: Their punishment... THE ASTONISHING CONTRAPTION OF PANTS-BURNING!!!! *(People laugh) *Simon Narrating: I do not like the sound of this. They demonstrated the contraption. Which you see is a giant lightbulb shooting a laser and turns you into paste. The league, except Strawberry cried. *City Official: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... KING TWISTOMER!!!!!!!! *(Crickets chirp) *Alvin: Where is he? *Theodore: He's on vacation! *Simon: But look. Sorry for the inconveniece but King Twistomer can't make it tonight. Your substitute for him will be Queenie-Pooh. *Simon Narrating: Panic rose fast. (A silhoutte of a gang appeared from the seas) *People in Palace: It's Mayor Jimmy and The Marigolds! *Alvin: I don't like the sound of that. *Townsperson: You never told me you were a pirate. *Alvin: Well, I'm not robbing from anyone. *Townsperson: You shoulda been in bed by now! *Alvin: I'm gonna send your butt back onboard the pirate ship and maybe you can go to bed! *Townsperson: You can't do this to me! I'm going to kill you! *Simon: (Points his sword to the city official) That's it, you're walkin' the plank. *Theodore: He's forcing that city official to walk the plank. *Simon: Judah, you better hire someone else to be a city official. *Theodore, Alvin, Reuben, Karen and Jude: Attack! *Simon Narrating: The others pounced on me, so I attacked the city official. He, Theodore, Karen, Reuben, Jude, Alvin and a few people piled on and on like we were sumo wrestling him in a dohyo. *Karen: Get another guy to run this palace. *Simon Narrating: Karen yelled. Jude insisted... *Jude: Mr. Official, you're fired. *Reuben: You know nothing! *Simon Narrating: Reuben screeched. Then Larry, Mr. Lunt, Jonah and Kyle sat on a cliff. This was the same cliff Jonah sat on when he was waiting for God to destroy Nineveh. *Kyle: I shoulda listened to Jimmy. *Buccaneer Lunt: I know it was true! *Jonah: Charge in the palace! YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK BAD! *(A soldier takes Jonah to battle) *Soldier: Come on, Mac-Jonah. *Jonah: YOU'RE USELESS, PATHETIC, AND ANNOYING!!!!!!!! *Buccaneer Larry: I knew that'd get her. *Simon Narrating: They heard the cries of the outraged cowboys, and the mischevious popstars. *Karen: I'll see how much wondering there is when everything is thrown away from you. *Simon: Arrrrrrrrrrgh! *City Official: Why is there a grape with a black cowboy hat and a few of his brothers and his girlfriend in here wanting to pee in my bed?!? *Alvin: Ya never said it was true!!!!!!!! *Karen: I'm gonna kill you, mister. *Simon: I can never tell when you're looking! *Theodore: You should talk! *Boat Captain: (spit out by the shark, slimy and smelly with sap and weeds) Everyone's gonna love campin'. Anybody bring a tent? *(Ginger Snap, and a few people hop onto USS Italian Scallion and sail to Ninaborough, and approach a register at a gas station far off) *Ginger Snap: (dings the bell) *Random Salesman: I don't want to do this. I threw up on some trees. *Ginger Snap: You're talking about your Christmas vacation. We're here to get an order of a big Viking ship. *Random Salesman: (grunts) That'll be $15.20. (Boat lands into Ginger's lap) Thanks. *Person in Crowd: Ginger Snap, the mayor would like to see us. *(Cut to the mayor's office, looking forlorn. Ginger Snap and the people that brought the boat approach as they notice a light going on. Pirate Impostor 2 looks down at them) *People (Except Ginger Snap): Lyle the Kindly Viking!?! *Pirate Impostor 2: Good morning, my merry friends. Busy day ahead. *Ginger Snap: You're still sticking with your kindess and I trust you're well, Lyle. *Pirate Impostor 2: I was just trying to become a pirate who doesn't do anything. *Ginger Snap: I couldn't help but notice that we're gonna stop that Old Man. *Pirate Impostor 2: Okay then, good luck. *Ginger Snap: Why don't you join us? *Pirate Impostor 2: Well, I usually don't go on raids so I just stay home making all this kind of stuff like potholders. Other than that, yes, I would like to help. (Closes window shades, turns out the light and hops off with his bag of potholders and the small bag of money his Viking friends gave him) *Simon Narrating: The mayor was mourning for his loss of his great grandson. A tear wells up in his eye. Brittney built a coffin and placed a R.I.P. sign on. It was quarter past dawn. All the people were still in bed. The door opened and it revealed to be Ginger Snap, and the people who nervously looked at the mayor. (Ginger Snap points to the coffin that read "R.I.P. My Great Grandson") *Mayor Jimmy: Nooooooooooo... not my great-grandson. *Ginger Snap: Excuse me? *Mayor Jimmy: Yaaugh! I just fell asleep on my desk until Brittney sent my great grandson to battle. Then, when he died, Jeanette and Eleanor buried him while Brittney built a coffin, so I placed it on that empty cradle there. *Person in Crowd: We came to assure you that God meant business. If you don't, face dire consequences. *Mayor Jimmy: What? *Ginger Snap: I WILL kill you. *Person in Crowd: You still run this place like a sleepy old bear. *Mayor Jimmy: Big deal. Go back to the light factory palace before Mr. Marigold loses his patience! *Ginger Snap: Well... let me check in with Mr. Netterbaum. *Mr. Netterbaum: So that's how it is. Your great grandson is dead?! He puddled up the city. *Ginger Snap: Well, let me ask with Mrs. Cashberger. *Mrs. Cashberger: It's YOU! Brittney sent him to battle! And her sisters killed him. *Ginger Snap: Fascinating. Let me have a word with Mrs. Fleagle. *Mrs. Fleagle: Just as I suspected, he was a fine little boy until a soldier shot him. *Ginger Snap: Let me speak with Mrs. Bruckheimer. *Mrs. Bruckheimer: We knew that everything was going off the end when he died. *Ginger Snap: Let me recommend this to the warden. *Warden: I say that when Brittney shot him doesn't mean that you're just gonna hurt yourself. *Ginger Snap: True? I could ask the asylum owner... *Asylum Owner: I heard there were teenagers inside him that knew karate! *Ginger Snap: Right. Let me ask Mrs. Butterbun. *Mrs. Butterbun: He was born right in the middle of a battle and then he was shot in the same battle. *Ginger Snap: Hmm, what could it hurt? Let me talk the police into this case. *Simon Narrating: So Ginger Snap went to the police headquarters. They were assigned to the case. They listened to her story. She then went to Strawberry's house. But the shades were tightly drawn and no one even answered the door because it was locked. Things got even more tense. The streets of Ninaborough were empty. People are closing up the casinos and shops on every avenue, street, lane, road and drive. Many even closed window shades and turned out the lights. (Huck closes Plexiglas divider on the boat the barnacle-scrapers were) Knights marched upon the mayor's office. Everyone, except Ginger Snap and the people that bought that viking ship were gathered for the funeral. The mayor placed his great grandson in the ground. A group of pirates sang "Live and Let Die". *(Evil cowboys surround the palace. They throw metal nets on the guards.) *People: But, but... *Simon: (Points his sword to them) NO BUTS ABOUT IT! *(Silhouettes of Larry, Mr. Lunt, and a few people show up) *Simon Narrating: Theodore, Alvin, Karen, Judah, Reuben and I barricaded the gates. We pushed furniture and dressers in front of the gates. At that very moment, Larry, Mr. Lunt, Kyle, Molly, Geo, Milli, and Gil banged on the gates with crowbars. Molly, Gil, Geo and Milli set up tents. Kyle was munching on a leg of ham while sipping a 72 oz. Slurpee. Despite Strawberry leaving, she never knew why we were so caught up in forcing the city official to leave. Luckily, for Larry, he hired some professionals. While Mr. Lunt fired the city official, Geo sat inside his tent, ready to get a nap. He almost got a glass of water until Judah went into his tent. Reuben, Karen, Simeon and Zeb followed. *Jude: You never told me you had to give the city official a taste of your super shape power to make him fired. *Geo: It was a bit stale so... *Reuben: I knew that. *Karen: He ate his own dust, anyway. *Theodore: I was hoping that could turn up. *Turnip 1: What did you just call me? A turnip!?!? *Reuben: I can't move my arm! *Alvin: I coulda called Captain Pa and see if he'll turn up. *Turnip 1: Grrrrrrr.... stop calling me a "turn up!" *Alvin: Yipes! *(Phone rings) *Kyle: I'll get it. Oh, hey, Mr. Jonah. It's not too late to talk business. I'm saying that you were asked to go to this city of Nineveh and tell the people here to stop slapping people with fishes but you got on a pirate ship and swallowed by a whale, and you were spit out and when you got the message, God wanted to destroy Nineveh, but he didn't! Oh, that's a hoot. *(Jonah lies on ground with R.I.P. sign) *Kyle: Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! What!? Are you crazy?! You're one of God's prophets! And now you're....dead!?!?!? *Angels: Forever alone... *Kyle: I'll see ya on the flip side. I gotta stop Mr. Marigold. Who will be me? *Gil: You can count on me. *Buccaneer Lunt: I'm in. *Buccaneer Larry: Someone's gotta take Jonah's coffin. *Kyle: I can give it a shot. *Buccaneer Lunt: Use your cellphone for help, Gilly. Mrs. Bruckheimer, Mr. Netterbaum, Mrs. Butterbun, Mrs. Cashbeger, Mrs. Fleagle, the Navy, Dr. Jiggle and the Nick Crew, even Dave Seville! Molly, call the fire department. Geo, keep them with your powers. Milli, practice your karate. *Molly: Oh, Jonah, we all came to see we're sure you were dead. *Alvin: I, Simon and Theodore are celebrities here. *Queen: (frowns) Slap them! *Alvin: You don't understand. Strawberry is a kind Rhubarbarian. You shoulda told her about her kindness. *Simon Narrating: Now The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything were starting to fret - because as if you know, executives don't like to wait. Or do they? *Buccaneer Lunt: We've pulled out all those stops and used every single trick. *Buccaneer Larry: Well, the warden, the mayor, the asylum owner, and a few people, including Mrs. Bruckheimer tried attempts to coax my girlfriend out of jail. But after each attempt, nothing happened. *Captain Pa: Not by the fact this palace is as clean as a Christmas turkey. *Buccaneer Larry: You're right, Captain. What is a Christmas turkey, anyway? *Buccaneer Lunt: (whispering to an old lady) Google Image one. *Buccaneer Larry: I dunno, I was hoping that those people that tried breaking Strawberry out of prison would turn up. *Buccaneer Lunt: First, Strawberry pranked us into oblivion, then she tried to repay the incident to us, and now our lives of being cheese curl celebrities have gone up in smoke. I told you she wasn't done wrecking our boat in a huge rainstorm. *Simon Narrating: Elliot and Sedgewick started to cry. Worst of all, Ginger Snap then called the cops. Chog Norrius rushed in. *(Police arrive) *Police Chief: Freeze! *Strawberry: Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming. The police has arrived and Alvin, Simon, Theodore and I will strike letting the people of Ninaborough go free. *Queen: We must hear the message. *Strawberry: There's someone plotting me and against my friends. *Alvin: Who would dare do that? *Strawberry: It... (The pirate impostors gasp) ...is... (Larry and Lunt gasp) ...Martin... (Alvin gasps) ...Marigold. *Everyone in Palace (Except Larry, Lunt, Ginger Snap, Theodore, Alvin, Simon, Pa, Orange Blossom, Angel Cake, Blueberry Muffin, Rainbow Sherbert, Raspberry Torte and Lemon Merengue): (Angrily, gritting teeth) BLACKBERRY THE PIRATE SHIP WRECKER! *Strawberry: My fellow patrons, please stop calling me Blackberry the Pirateship Wrecker. *Chog: Romans, attack the Pirates and send Blackberry the Pirateship Wrecker to the front lines. *Blueberry Muffin, Angel Cake, Orange Blossom, Ginger Snap, Buccaneer Lunt and Rainbow Sherbert: (flustered) But... wa... ah... guh... Strawberry... why?... *Sheep: (baas) *Buccaneer Larry: (throws up) *Captain Pa: Let's kill Blackberry forever! *A random dog: (sniffs) *Geo: (faints, like in Boo-Boo Ville 2) *Molly: (faints) *Martin Marigold: Elliot, your girlfriend's gotta go. *Alvin: (hurtles his net over him and his men) Gotcha! *Simon Narrating: A crowd has gathered around Elliot, Sedgewick and Strawberry. They looked around at the angry group of onlookers. Strawberry then attacked the police. Suddenly more police came. Television crews arrived as well. Several people pulled up couches to watch. Mr. Lunt shot some lasers. Huck seemed to pass by. The lasers ricocheted off his vest. *Buccaneer Lunt: Good morning, Huckleberry. *Huckleberry: Morning. I now have second thoughts about this. Go fix that or my people will be in jeopardy. *(Electricity burns out) *Simon Narrating: At that very moment, the laser machine sputtered and then smoke poured out of the laser machine. Many people carried pets and babies under their arms. Some inhaled too many smoke and died. Others coughed, like normally when smoke happens. Huck polished the burn mark on his vest. *Person in Crowd: Come on, hurry up. The boat isn't gonna just sit there all day! *Ginger Snap: Don't want (cough) to ride (cough) the merry-go-round (cough) anymore... *Simon Narrating: Just then, multi-colored smoke came out of a furnace as well. Now Larry and Mr. Lunt had second thoughts about Strawberry wrecking the pirate ship in a big rainstorm. Pretty soon, the palace was destroyed. Everyone in the palace made it all out alive. Well, almost everyone. Some dashed into the ocean. Others jumped in their boats and sailed away. Many pushed slow ones out of the way. Several stepped on people. *(People laugh at the rubble, which fell on Huck) *Simon Narrating: (overlapping) They say that what goes up must come down and that pride goes before a destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Looks like nobody told that to me, Theodore and Alvin. *Ginger Snap: Look, pirate devils. (Pulls out a sword) What have you done with Elliot, Sedgewick and George? *The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: (gasps) *Simon: Nothing, nothing. Just a little nervousness, that's all. *Strawberry: Can someone rebuild this? The smoke destroyed the rubble. *Huckleberry: Aww, man! The palace collapsed on me. My eye is twitching. *Buccaneer Lunt: (whispering to two people) Go unbury him and put his pants back on. *Person 1: I still have plenty of lumber on my boat. I should at least pinch in. *Strawberry: That's great. *Person 2: I still got some tools on my boat. I could work overtime. *Sheep: (baas) *Person 3: I still saved up some allowance. *Person 4: Me too! *Buccaneer Lunt: DJ, it's time for the test. *Simon Narrating: As the people turned on their radios that morning, they heard Alvin, Theodore and me singing "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything". The pirates' faces go into spasms. They start to contort. They eventually squeaked out in pain. *A random dog: Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh! *(Groans in disgust) *Chog: (groans) Please wake up and turn off the alarm, will ya? *Buccaneer Lunt: Turn up the volume louder, DJ! *Turnip 1: That's it, I'm locking my door. *(DJ turns up volume louder that people cover their ears) *Chog: I knew I shoulda warned my son. *(As the song picks up, the Pirates faint) *Simon Narrating: Angel Cake, Orange Blossom and Ginger Snap also helped on a crane, a bulldozer and a forklift. Many people sang. A waiter who had come to serve them breakfast saw the looks on our faces. Both Huck and Alvin dance up a storm, leaving the pirates who don't do anything in dismay. They protested. (Buccaneer Larry: Hrrgh.) As the song ends, the crowd applaud. *Alvin, Simon and Theodore: ...And we've never been to Boston in the fall. *Crowd: (applauds) *Huckleberry and Alvin: (catching their breaths as they wear big dumb smiles) *Buccaneer Larry: AAAAALLLLVVVVIIIIINNNN! *Alvin: OOOKKAAYYY! Aargh! *Simon: Aye, 'tis true. *Theodore: Elliot, George, Sedgewick and their silly friends can die on a forbidden island for all we care. *(Huck carries a boom box dancing like a mad fool) *Vikings on Boombox: We used to die on this forsaken island. Of gold so rare, and big TVs-- *(Elliot, George and Sedgewick angrily shut off the boom box. Crowd gasps) *Buccaneer Larry: Alright, bloodthirsty skateboarding fiend. *Huckleberry: I haven't done anything wrong. *Buccaneer Lunt: Alright, look sir. *(Huck backs up a little) *Huckleberry: Don't you point those dirty yellow sausages at me! *Simon Narrating: In their retreat, Elliot and Sedgewick trip over the boom box. They fall backwards. They hit the ground and their wardrobes explode off of them as corset-type undergarments gives way to outward pressure. Their headgear fly off. George takes off his pirate captain's hat and whistles. Blood streamed down Elliot's and Sedgewick's faces. Strawberry thought they were dead. *Strawberry: Don't do it, Cuke. How dare you kill my boyfriend, Buccaneer Alvie. (Alvin smiles worriedly) *Turnip 2: You're sounding a lot like Dave Seville. *(Strawberry's jawbone drops. The Pirates uttered guttural noises.) *Captain Pa: ...guh......ungh......neg... *Buccaneer Lunt: ...eengh?... *Chog: (growls) Elliot, Sedgewick and George, you're fired. You will never be pirates again. *Buccaneer Larry: Hgnaaa- ! *Brittney, Jeanette and Eleanor: YOU ARE GONNA LOSE EVERYTHING. *(The police officers put the pirates in butterfly nets and cages) *Police Officers: Elliot, you better study your Spanish. Sedgewick, better study your German. And George, better study your Portuguese. *(People carry Strawberry out of palace) *People: Her kindness proved victorious. Bringing joy to all of us. Her cleverness befriends the foes! *Simon Narrating: Well, what do ya know? Strawberry let those people go free, thanks to Theodore, Reuben, Mr. Lunt, Larry, Karen, Alvin, Judah, Pa and I. *Police Chief: If you boys behave, maybe I'll let you become pirates again. Deal? *Buccaneer Larry: Buenas noches. Mi nombre es Elliot. Tengo una lista de temores. *Captain Pa: Olá, meu nome é capitão George. *Buccaneer Lunt: Hallo. Ich bin Sedgewick und ich meine arbeitssparendes Gerät mögen. *Police Chief: Ach du meine Güte. No!!!!!!!!!! *Simon Narrating: But Pa, Mr. Lunt and Larry were sent to different countries. *Brittney, Jeanette and Eleanor: Nice work. Thank you for doing that. Here, we got you a little something. *Strawberry: Show the trust of your parallels for your truths. I'll treasure it always. *Simon Narrating: I felt though Huck and Strawberry were gonna get married. The next morning, the mayor telephoned her. *Mayor Jimmy: I need your help. Haman has escaped from the Island of Perpetual Tickling and Huck must stop him! *("Bellybutton" plays as the closing credits roll) ''Post-Credits Scene *Chog: Welcome aboard, Alvin, Theodore and Simon. You're hired. *Simon: We're the New and Improved Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! *Alvin: Nothing. *Theodore: Zilch. *Alvin: Nada. And In Closing, Everyone... Well, there you have it. The story of Strawberry, Alvin and the great escape. Filmed entirely on location in Las Vegas, Nevada (And parts of Lincoln City, Oregon); I hope you read this. If you knew about elements on this, I came up with this in Spring 2012 when I got "''Robin Good and His Not-So Merry Men" in the mail from the Big Idea Shop website . I let this story stew for summer 2012 when The Penniless Princess ''was released and brought it back out for fall 2012 in time for the release of both ''Berry Brick Road and The League of Incredible Vegetables. There were many unanswered questions in this that you could compare to Minnesota Cuke,'' Gideon: Tuba Warrior'','' Sweetpea Beauty'','' Sumo of the Opera'','' Larry-Boy and the Rumor Weed and ''Esther. Why isn't Dave Seville in this one? He should've either gotten fired, or had to search the entire world for his three long-lost sons. Then again, Dave Seville IS a professional songwriter. It's kinda obvious, Chog Norrius should do the trick. I love this one a lot that you could also compare to Strawberry Shortcake's Get Well Adventure ''- a Prohibition-era telling of the legend of "Moe and the Big Exit" (originally ''The Lone Stranger); though it's so funny, including Ginger Snap's ridiculous line "Don't want to ride the merry-go-round anymore." and Sedgewick's silly line "I'm convinced that's pretty much the stupidest thing I ever heard before." And yes, I began writing "Song of the Racers" to go in my next story that is currently in the forge. But I ended up putting it in this one, and the contrast was very nice and it was something a girl band should sing. I know if this counts, but I still laugh when Elliot and Sedgewick become annoyed. I love Ginger Snap's annoyed look when Alvin sang the "pirates who don't do anything" song with his two brothers, Theodore and Simon! For some reason, I can't memorize 1/4 of the part where the smoke poured out of the laser machine and out of a furnace at the climax. If you like my funny stories, subscribe to this wiki, leave a comment and stay tuned because coming soon I'm going to write Gideon, the Tuba Warrior vs. The Magic Railroad! Happy Twenty-Five Years to VeggieTales! And remember, you never need to be afraid to do what's right!